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Archive-name: Humour/sexdict.txt Archive-author: Hustler Archive-title: Sex Dictionary Frem HUSTLER magazine. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Aphrodisiac -- Any substance that decreases a bitch's resistance to the carnal advances of a horny scumbag. Common "aphrodisiacs" include large dicks, costly powders, fast cars, Visa gold cards and money in all of its higher denominations. AC/DC -- An indiscriminate plug that will stick into any available socket. Anal Retention -- Anal retention is a phose in the Freudian stages of personality development. Anal retention is also what a homosexual does when he does not want to get sperm on the upholstery. Ass Belch -- Fart. Bad news if a bitch ass belches while getting her fudge packed. Asshole -- We've all got one. Some of us are one. Asshole Buddy -- Afriend with whom a scumbag can be himself. As in "Jeff Moses is my asshole buddy. I can ass belch at the dinner table, and he keeps scarfing his burrito." Ballbuster -- A penis-envying bitch who's obsessed with inflicting castration complexes. Synonyms: Career woman, girlfriend. Bimbo -- Something a bitch calls another bitch who's scored a scumbag she wanted for herself. Blowjob -- The best method the scumbags have yet devised to quiet a bitch. Bone -- Has nothing to do with dinosaur skeletons on display at the Museum of Natural History. As a noun, a bone is a blood- engorged biological organ with a high concentration of pleasure sensors in its tissue. As a verb, to bone is to do anything a consenting adult wants to do with his bone. Butt Cherry -- A succulent fruit that retains its savory sweetness even after a bitch has lost her ass virginity. Synonyms: Brown-eye, bun nugget, pucker bud, executive vice president. Butt Plug -- A torture divice inserted sadistically into a slave's rectum and left there well beyond the statute of merciful limitations. Most commonly worn by the American tax- paying public. Callipygian -- An incredibly effete and refined way of saying "has a nice ass". Usage: She was a callipygian bitch; so I packed her fudge. Choad -- The male erotic essence, as it springs from between his loins and as it spurts from his spring. Usage: The bitch's face was smeared in choad. Clitoris -- A nub of throbbing gristle situated at the apex of a bitch's pussy. She is very interested in a scumbag knowing where her clitoris is and will reward him for making its discovery. Synonyms: Joy buzzer, love button, pearl. Coprophilia -- The art of eating shit and saying it tastes great, an essential skill for a successful career in the advert- ising, entertainment or politics industries. Cream Puffer -- A pud-huffing bitch who's sucked her mouth full of milky discharge; yet continues to blow. Cum -- Spurts of viscous liquid that verify true lust, cum looks like anything from mayonnaise to tapioca pudding. Synonyms: Jizz, load, manchowder, wad. Cum Sponge -- Either a crude birth-control device or a bitch who has a hearty appetite for anything from mayonnaise to topioca pudding. Synonyms: Scum dump, spuzz receptacle, wad sop. Cunt -- The good news is that she has one. The bad news is that she may be one. Dick -- The male animal. Synonyms: Prick, scumbag, line of credit. Dick Ornament -- A particularly eye-pleasing bitch. Dildo -- Penis substitue that comes in several different varieties, including double-dong, strap-on and Republican. Doggy-Style -- The ability of a scumbag to have sex by putting one leg behind his neck, leaning forward and licking his balls. Synonym: Ron Jeremy mode. Douchebag -- Asack of vinegar and disinfectant; any bitch who's old enough to be a scumbag's mother, and yet still tries to bust his balls. Enema -- A good way for a tight ass to clear his mind. MORE to CUM....... -- |
